Wednesday, 30 July 2008

I'm cold!!

Ok, I've been confined to a tiny room with no windows for the last few weeks. Its summer outside, but in my world it is still mid winter. Today is really cold. I hate coffee, but I've got a mug of coffee in my hands.

Because I keep warm by holding on to the warm mug. That's what I've had to resort to. And its mid summer. I'm als very sleepy, the coffee isn't helping.

love love


Monday, 28 July 2008

My food addiction

Let me start with a disclaimer! This might be a sensitive issue to people out there who are anorexic, bulimic, overweight, obese, underweight, horizontally challenged, chubby and anymore related words you can think of. For those of you that are perfectly normal - THERE IS NO SUCH THING! Normality is subjective - I think I'm pretty normal (as in size wise) but alot of people would think I was grossly underweight.

Anyway, here's news for you - I am addicted to food, yes I most certainly am addicted to food. But my food addiction differs in more than one ways. Well, for a start - I say I'm addicted to food but am considered almost anorexic by people. My mum looks at me with sad eyes, as though every time she sees me is the last time she will see me. Because I will evaporate into nothingness. Because I barely eat. And eat very little.

While that is still true, and I like the attention I get from my mum, eventhough it might not be for the best of reasons, I have become addicted to food!

It started with Japanese crackers. I ate them one fine Wednesday morning about 6 months ago. For the rest of the month I had them EVERY SINGLE DAY until I could no longer stand the sight of them, or for that matter even the sight of a Japanese person (yes its true). I then discovered Galaxy Minstrels - oh how I loved the flavour!! What happens next? I eat a pack every single day for weeks until just the thought of them, just a teeny weeny thought brought about the severe need to throw up.

As you can probably guess, I had to move on. As one does. This time I moved on to Bounty. Choclocate.Coconut filling. Mmmm, very nice. Except I did they very same this time. I'm not one for learning from mistakes, as is clearly evident. This one actially lasted longer. I loved Bounty. It was my very first thought as I woke up and often enough the very last. Note 'often enough' and not 'always'. This is because I like to reflect on weird and wonderful bits of experiences, thoughts, ideas, geometric patterns and God before going to bed. A potential blog entry, so I shall reluctantly refrain from expanding on the aforementioned.

Well, now I hate Bounty!

It's all about sushi now.......................................

mmm sushi

Love love

Friday, 18 July 2008

Things to do and people to meet before I die

So, I thought that the first step to doing what I want to do is to know what I want to do. And this led to the creation of what you are about the read below: my very own list of things to do and people to see before I kick the bucket.

1) Meet a Japanese person - only because there are so few of them! I've got Chinese friends, Korean friends, maybe Taiwanese friends too. But have I got Japanese friends? No. Can I find Japanese people? No. And that's why I want to meet one. (Well, I've met one at work but he doesn't count)

2)Travel to Japan - This will increase the probability of running into a Japanese person! And I love the fancy gadgets and fancy hairdo's that they do.

3) Learn to decide what I want when I walk into a shop - Ok, say I have a couple of hundred pounds to spend. I pat myself on the back for the disposable income I've got and walk into a shop feeling mighty pleased. After no more than a few steps my brain cells get clogged up due to over use and I retrace my steps out of the shop. What in the world could possibly cause such a severe breakdown you might wonder?

Well, I NEVER know what I want. Let me tell you from experience that if ever a thing was disturbing enough to clog up perfectly healthy and remarkablely clever brain cells such as mine, it would be not knowing what one wants. I want shoes (black trainers and green crocodile print heels), I also want a bicycle (with all the appropriate gear), a digital SLR camera (with a couple of lenses thrown in), a holiday (to India, Japan, Malaysia and Dubai, and New York during the November sales), a new pair of jeans (skinny jeans), and guitar lesssons.

I can't buy all of these, can I? I need to decide what I want most. But I want them all the most!!! So what happens next?? I have a massive mental block, cells getting clogged left, right and centre and what-not. Result? I turn around, walk out of the shops, away from the temptation, empty handed, pocket loaded.

For the spendthrifts - you might want to embrace this strategy, it will help you save more!

4) Meet a person with a Chinese mum and an African dad. Only to see what they look like - again, they are scarce.

5)Meet an Indian person who speaks fluent chinese!

6)Get over me fear of creepy crawlies - just saying the word's given me shivers.

7)Oh - while we're at it, I've got a random question that has come to my mind - How priceless and how endangered would you be if you knew all the secrets of all the people in this world!!?!

8) Erm, I think that's all for now.

I feel so light having got that list off my chest!

Love love

Thursday, 17 July 2008

The story of my life and another story

Not sure if there is such a thing as neutral feeling - where you are neither happy not sad, neither chirpy nor dull, neither frowning nor smiling. If there is such a thing as a neutral feeling, that's the feeling I'm feeling today. Thank you for asking!
But really, I should be feeling quite happy. The stamp that I'd ordered 20 days ago has finally arrived. Wohoo! Weheey! Yes thats how long it takes to buy a stamp. And this is no ordinary stamp. It stamps a number and then rotates the number-printing-thing-or-what-ever-else-it-is-called to the next number. Its hi-tech, which probably explains why it took so long to obtain. (I'm trying to be sarcastic here.)

So, you can probably now see why any sane human would be jumping for joy with a smile wider than the limitations of the mouth. But am I jumping for joy and smiling a smile bigger than the one my mouth can manage? I'm not.
Ok just to make this post a wee bit more cheery, here's a random story from yesterday:

I was waiting for some legal documents to be stamped at a goverment office. My appointment was at 2.30 but as is the case in all government offices - I wasn't attended to until much later. After about 4 hours of waiting I ran out of things to do to keep myself busy. So at about five thirty I said " Enough is enough" and decided to check if my thigh was thin enough to fit the space between two seats. Don't give me that look!! People get into the Guiness Book for sillier reasons!! Heard of the woman who can pull her eyeballs out?? I bet you're now glad that I didn't try something like that - otherwise you would have had to read about me pulling my eyeballs out!

Anyway so I discovered I had the thinnest thighs in my family. Surprise!

So here's the funny thing - the harassed looking security guard comes up to me and says, "Please get your leg out from between those seats. People do that all the time and I have to call up the ambulance to get their legs out. It's nearly six. I don't want have to make a last minute ambulance call!"

And I thought my experiment was quite a novel idea - People do it all the time in government waiting rooms!
Love love


Tuesday, 15 July 2008

The joys of losing

OK, maybe it happens to everyone. Maybe I'm not alone. I find myself losing things I don't want to lose and not losing items that I wouldn't mind losing. Almost as though these items that walk away from me do so knowingly - just to tick me off for not loving them enough. Perhaps?

Yesterday, for the second time in the last month I lost my debit card. This would have been the third time I lost it in the last three years. That's one card a year. In the last three years I have also lost my driver's license three times. That's one card a year. I've lost my university ID two times in the last three years. Doing better there!!! Probably because it costs £10 to replace it.

As much as I try, I just can't seem to find a way to make myself more aware of my belongings. So the last time I lost my wallet I decided that I would divide and rule. I put all my cards in different parts of my bag. I now have a coin purse, a travel card wallet, and an 'other cards wallet'. The only thing I didn't realise then was that I now had more things to keep track of. Not for long though, I realised that yesterday, when I lost my coin purse.

Unfortunately, my coin purse also had my debit card in it. Because Maestro is the new money. I had to pull myself away from the pot noodles in Sainsbury's, because I had no cash and no card - I realised that my coin purse had gone missing.

Traced back my steps - in my mind - I have a feeling I dropped it in the rubbish bin as I was leaving work. All night I dreamt about sifting through piles of rubbish, banana peels, left over chinese take away, packets of crisps, a dead rat?! and crumpled paper looking for a little white coin purse with a pink glittery bow.

The restless night was enveloped by a moody morning that couldn't decide whether to pick sunny clothes or cloudy clothes. A globally significant decision, one to alter our lives. So I let ithe morning take its time making up its mind - the last thing I wanted to do was to get into Mother Nature's bad books! I had more important things on my mind anyway.

I walked in to work, and what should my gaze land upon? My very own coin purse, it sat there, there was even an imaginary comforting glow radiating from it. I've checked it now, and all its contents are safe!

And that's how my day started!

Love Love

Monday, 14 July 2008

A Murder of Crows

Well hullo there,

Welcome to my blog and my very first entry! Since this is my first venture into the realm of blogging, its only fair, and of course polite, that I introduce myself and my page.

Let's start with the name!

See, while growing up, English was my favourite subject and I loved collective nouns. The one that stuck in my head, the one I always wanted to use but never found the opportune moment, the one I've always wanted to use, was the collective noun for crows - A Murder of Crows. This one really fascinated me. There was some thing dark,eerie and deadly about it. It had drama and character, unlike, say, a flock of sheep, or a cackle of geese!

Of course you are free to differ in opinion, although, I can't seem to see why you would differ. I am obviously right in saying that a murder of crows is exceptionally dramatic! And you'd have to obviously be quite dull to not see the drama!!

So any way, all my life I've patiently waited for the chance to use it and finally this chance popped up in the form of a potential blog title!! I was excited by the notion of having my very own blog with my very favourite collective noun for a title! I quickly set up a new account. I excitedly typed in my blog name only to discover that SOME ONE ELSE HAD TAKEN IT!!!!

The horror, the anger, the emotions I felt - I cannot express.

When I finally recovered I decided I'd go for the next best - therefore - A Smack of Jellyfish

Thats the story of my blog and oh-how-I'd-like-to-meet-the-person-who-stole-my-dream-collective-noun-blog-name. Show your self if you dare!!!!

Love Love

ps: that was the introduction to my blog.....more about the author coming soon!